By the title I am pretty sure you know what I am about to write. i had never spoken of this time of my life, the manic teens...not even to the bestest of friends.
i had somehow buried this deep inside me, and i guess watching this movie (even though i saw only half of it, had to walk out after the song "maa") brings back so many memories of being told that you are not good enough or that being imbibed that you are dumb. and having heard enough times "whats wrong with you meghna", you as a 10-11 year old kid start to believe that there is something infact wrong with you.
ishaan's story is pretty similar to mine. A daydreamer with a loving overachiever elder brother (in contrast to the "underachiever" me). build up of anger, frustration, pain....
and somehow similar to ishaan's story my life also changed because of a temporary teacher. Mrs.Shalini Sehgal wasmy temp English teacher in 8th. it was the first time i realised that i could be good in something, that i am not a failure.
and of course the explanation ishaan gave for the poem which was shot down by his teacher, have lived through that a number of times!!
but i dont know if i had dyslexia or any other learning problem, or if i was plain old bored with this education system, but i do know that when and if you have even one person believing in you its enough. because then you dont stand alone. and it feels great to have someone have faith in you.
somewhere during the heartbreaking i did see the movie, i kept on reminding myself, "it'll only make him stonger, i emerged a stronger person out of it right!!"
But then is it a good enough excuse? in fact it doesnt even suffice as an excuse...its 'in-excusable'.
and i dont quite know why i write this, but maybe i do because i need that reassurance again that Sehgal ma'am once gave me.
it was bitter sweet and almost ironic that my friends ended up called me meenu because ishaan was innu so meghna is meenu. if only they knew how right they were or are!!
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