What comes next

What comes next?!!

Are you happy?, Her eyes ask,
Yes, I lie, turning away,
Trying to avoid those eyes,
Who am I kidding?
You can see thru to my soul,
Yet I pretend,
And put up a façade,
A happy face,
What comes next?
Useless drama, more trauma,
Joke more, she is around,
My brain sends the signal,
She cant realise that I still miss her,
Speak to all, but her,
Like that would turn the indifference to love!
Stop, stop loving her,
My friends implore,
So I lie to them too,
I am soooooo over her,
I boast!
What comes next?
Rum, beer and whiskey I toast,
What a mistake she was!
Oh, how I loved her,
She walks by, provides me a half smile,
I smile at her and then smirk at my friends,
Saving my ego, she saw that,
Does she still care? Did she ever?
What a joke I have become,
Run over by love, I am the scum,
City lights seem dull,
And I can’t sleep,
Because I am on the truth finding mission,
Yes that’s the excuse this time,
For wrapping myself in your memories,
No more, no more tears,
Haven’t yet fell out,
Unsolicited advises still flow,
No more, no more post mortems,
What lies ahead then?
I don’t want to see,
I am busy at where we were last year.
And I don’t want to leave,
Cant exist nowhere else,
And I wont leave,
Not yet!
What comes next?
I don’t know.

-Meghna
25/10/2008
08:26pm.