For an old friend...

(part of my newest endeavour to publish most of my works...)


For an old friend

This is for you friend,
Here comes the end,
Of our love, our friendship,
If only you could understand my worship,
For us, you and me.

I hope it was all worth it,
Whatever it was, that you did,
What you did,
Throwing our friendship away,
For what, you didn’t say.

I hoped that you’d call and maybe,
Want to know how I was doing,
It seems not much to ask for,
But then I am a stupid being.

I feel like you are laughing at me,
Reading this confession,
But you can call this poem yours,
And show it to the one,
The one you care about…

Let me know the truth, if you like this poem,
Or the feeling behind it.


26/01/06
“jaded”

My best friend's wedding!!

This is the song that I presented D with on the night of her sangeet ceremony... (Moseltoff)

With you around I know I’ll never be alone,
And I should have written u a song before,
God knows, I wasted all my words on silly boys,
When none of them gave even an iota of joy,
That you have given me, my soul sister, my best friend,
My love for you sees no end.

You are the reasons why I am so free,
You are the one who still believes in me,
You are the reason why I still believe in love,
You are the reason why I thank God above.

You were there to hold my hand if the times were rough,
You were there when I fell, and helped me up,
You were there to scream at me when I was wrong,
You were there to tell me that I belong.

And I never want you to think twice,
Before calling, if you need advice,
I promise ill be there to make it alright.
I promise, even if it’s the middle of the night.

This is not my wedding gift to you,
This is not a way to say thank you,
This is my way of telling you,
That I love you.

My baby is getting married...

Okay if you arent aware of the above stated fact then probably you have been in a coma for the past 10 odd days. Cos i am wedding crazy these days. My BFF is getting married.(again, if you dont know what i mean by BFF...)
its a weird feeling seeing her gearing up to be someone's wife!! WIFE...my gawd,...soon enough shall follow kids... MOTHER!!!
lord...i guess seeing her do all of this makes me wake up and realise that my parents probably wont let me get away with acting 15 all the time and perhaps would even like to get me married off...as ghastly as that sounds...i know marrying off a queen isnt all that easy either- for reference see movie:- princess diaries 2:royal engagement.
ok, so i am blabbering. but yea, i had some of my other classmates getting married as soon as they left the JMC premises for good, on the fateful march 2006 days, but that did not "upset" HRH that much... maybe because its D, my D. my silly D who spent her days acting kiddish...i was the adult in that relationship...so really my BABY is getting married and i am freaked out for very potent reasons:
1. its like your twin getting married...u HAVE to freak
2. no, no...its even worst,...its ur younger sister getting married(altho chronologically D is 8 months older!!)...and you the older career woman suddenly realise the self-created pressure is on.
3.you realise that the "have-u-met-mr.xyz's-son" is not far away...
and lastly and more importantly;
4.you realise that you arent the only important 20-something year old in her life. that you can no longer guilt her by asking if she'd choose over a date with her Boyfriend or her Bestfriend!! that the val-day dates at dilli haat are now a memory. that he has equal if not more of a right. and yea, he will also be a party to all of "OUR" conversations!! bitter sweet realities of life, eh?!!

but then again you dont lose a bestfriend, you gain a beautiful, naughty, flirty age old relationship of "jija-saali"...
and since neither of us have real sisters, this is my only ticket to "jija-land".
so here, i raise my glass to you, D and Ro: my favorite couple in the www!!!

PS. i will only babysit your kids if at least one of them is named after me...and no middle naming or adopting dogs as "a family member" and naming them....HRH doesnt fetch and smell other people!!

Finding Meghu...

Different circumstances makes you react differently. That’s a constant. Right?
You assume you know your differing behaviour; that it’s somehow predictable; that you in fact do have some power over it. But in life comes a time when you aren’t able, physically or mentally to do that. The things you do are surprising even to you. You do things which are uncharacteristically you. But you are surprised not shocked. Because you knew, you knew you are capable of it.
The difficult part is not realising how difficult it is to control yourself or going into a dialogue of why’s and how’s. It is, in fact, coming to terms how an ugly a person you really are. And you will, in most probability, be able to live with it. As horrific it sounds you will be able to live with it. What as ‘young adults’ we don’t realise is that, “you’ll be surprised at what you can live with” as one adulterous oncologist once said. He wasn’t a bad man. No, not at all. He saved lives. He went to sleep peacefully and lived life with great vigour.
But even you would know things aren’t exactly hunky-dory. You will realise that you can’t look
yourself in the eye anymore.

Sabbatical continues...

Sometimes in life children we have to take some very difficult decisions. They might be for our own well being(mental and otherwise) and sometimes they are for others benefits. and sometimes these decisions fall flat on their face.

Ok... fine... i'll get to the point. the fact i am trying to push here is that after having taken almost one month's sabbatical, I am still not back. i need some more time. it is a difficult decision deciding not to start writing yet but this for our own good.
Hence just a check-in, a little harmless trip to the market that is allowed to the rehab-patients. You know, try and remember Britney here, people!

The hard part is maybe i have lost my inspiration..but the excruciating part is on this journey of self discovery i have discovered (wait for the irony here) i don't like the person that i am. :(