The outsider

okay, so I am pretty sure we all have felt like the outsider once in our life at least (...or even more frequenlty for some poor souls...)...like when ur parents are having the "grown-up" talk or when u meet friends of a friend, whilst they share an insider joke....
And m sure most of them are not on purpose. But it makes me wonder...am i really 'in'? Do i really have friends or a just a bunch of people i hang around with,.. no offenses to any of my existing pals/sons/nemsis...
here's what I feel....at times...

The outsider

I feel like the outsider, who hopes to belong,
I feel like the little kid, who waits to be involved,
I feel left out, on purpose at times,
I feel forgotten, which worsens my wounds,

At times I feel like a horrible person,
With me, nobody wants to be,
Sometimes I wish I was invisible,
And I realise I already am.

I feel inadequate, when he’s around,
I feel unhappy, when I have to sit it all out,
I feel unsure about my demeanour,
Sometimes I feel angry at my sense of humour,

So many times I stayed away,
So that I can be out of his way,
And I see the appreciation when I do so,
And now I know what he wants me to do.

Meghna....
March 3rd, 2008.
A slightly abriged version on my orkut profile...because I use 'he' in a very loaded sense- he is all of you. He is humanity, if it still exists.