The how’s and whys of my writing(s)

A lotta people have been asking me why I write the way I write...so here's the only answer I have!!!

Alanis Morrisette, the queen of pain, the one singer and writer that I think writes for me. No matter what I am feeling, I am sure I’ll find a Alanis song that totally captures what I feel. And somewhere I feel my writing style is greatly influenced by her.
(Alanis is someone I hope to be, that one day I can write a truly beautiful song like the many she has penned down.)
You know why? Because she is a happy person who writes painful songs. Doesn’t mean she’s sad or depressed but its something that comes naturally to her. Even songs of love are somehow related to sadness. And she derives all of this from her life. On Oprah she said she’s been in some really toxic relationships, and her inspiration to write stems from there. And that’s totally me. A happy person who has had a lot of rejections, and that somewhere she keeps on wondering why, and in a bid to answer them keeps writing about them. Not that I spend my life pondering but every time I sit down to write, its something that would come naturally to me. The words flow, almost oozing out, without me even knowing at times how much vendetta I have let trickle down.
Somehow its important for me to do so. Because if I don’t let it out then it stays within me, which is far worse. Its better to let a little out, now isn’t it?

I have recently realised I write in almost a trance. I write so “in the moment” that sometimes its astounding. If I go back to some songs I wrote (lets say a week ago), I'll surprise myself with certain lines, prose, pain that I have penned down.
But all I write, is in almost knee-jerk way, I have been writing this way since I was 10 or 11 years old…I remember my first song…it was about thunder…it went something like this..

“Sometimes I wonder,
why does rain come, Why does thunder,
Is it almighty’s anger
Or is it his tummy rumbling with hunger?”

I know it isn’t a literary masterpiece but I liked my thought process, the "innocent questions" as Ron says I ask (still asking).
I write because it’s in my DNA…my father is a poet as well. We are a family full of HR-poets who are also LOL’s!!!
My (silly and almost slapstick) sense of humor is from my mum and my writing ability, and if I may be so bold to say, my prose, is from my dad, who like me, writes of love and all things irrational. We don’t do creative writing. And the interesting part is the one parent that should be writing, the master’s degree holder in literature, has never even attempted to write. Neither does the lawyer write. Although he reads a LOT, and has a brilliant command over the language, but he has never penned down a thing. Strange isn’t it?!!

My influences, further are, the few beautiful people I have the good luck of knowing, of loving even. Though many of them I have wronged like no else, and have no right to write of, yet I do dare. And sometimes I realise how blessed I am to have known these souls, for having written things which I am proud to call mine.

So I thank you, Alanis, my inspiration and my friends and my muse(s), and I thank life for giving me this instrument of expression.

:)